Wednesday, October 15, 2008

speaking of marriage...

i've learned one valuable lesson being married for over two years now. i mean, i've learned a lot about marriage and about myself as a wife... but the key lesson learned has been how everything is now experienced TOGETHER. every trial, every stress, every change, every illness, every emotion, every sleepless night... EVERYTHING. i have noticed this little by little, but even more so over the last month.
ryan is now in his third week on the new job. one was total overwhelming melt down. he had no clue what to expect, where he would be placed, who his supervisor would be etc. the first two days was more prep work than job related: getting sworn in, signing paperwork, getting his badge, choosing health insurance etc. the third day was figuring out what department he would be working in, his general job description, getting his office (see below post by r) etc. day three and four were some general training seminars for his department with his fellow co-workers where he heard some "harbor talk" about his boss/supervisor. he was less than excited listening to people who've been in this job for 3 months- 3 years complain about this specific department.
that overwhelming feeling soon turned to complete stress.
there isn't really an opportunity to "shadow" another in this role. he's been handed a case load and said GO! r is a personality that wants to know that he's doing exactally what's expected of him and that he's doing it right. being that he wasn't really given specific instructions he comes home daily frustrated with whether or not he's even good at this job.
so guess what i am? frustrated, stressed and completely overwhelmed. week one he would come home and tell me all about everything because there was so much going on in his head. so i would end up not attempting to help him unwind and compartmentalize the day. week two and three have been a little different. he's past overwhelmed and just stressed. so when i ask how the day was he sighs deeply and says "fine" and that's all i get. however when i ask for a can of green beans out of the pantry and he has to dig through the eight layers of canned goods to find them he's ready to snap. he's exhausted emotionally and physically so my job as a wife has been simple. have dinner ready when he gets home. let him relax in the evenings and most of the weekend. be sure he's getting to bed early.
my lesson... i am exhausted, stressed, and emotional. i feel like i should be able to help or fix it somehow. maybe i could find a night job.
at the end of the day, i love my husband for making the most of this... for getting up each day and going to a job he doesn't really like yet. for praying his way through each day and coming home willingly to me.
he's just great.

No comments: