Sunday, October 4, 2009

boys vs girls

so ryan and i aren't quite ready to have kids yet. my type "a" personality has a lot more planning to do before that can happen.

*who will watch the kid(s) while i work?

*how will i afford to take time off for maternity leave?

*how will we afford to decorate the nursery? (this is important people)

*what if i have to go on bed rest during pregnancy? i don't have disability insurance

*is it worth having kids if someone else watches them 7 hrs

*do i trust the public school system to teach my kids? would i want to pay for private school? do i have the patience to home school? could i even home school while working?

there are a million more things that i think of, trust me, this head of mine never stops.

one thing i always thought i knew was that i was created to be the mother to boys. girls scare me. of all the years i worked at the school i always related better with the boys. i used to babysit girls and i had fun with the dress up and coloring and watching the princess movies, but i kind of felt out of place. i was more of a tom boy as a child and never was really about the SUPER girly stuff.

let's face it, girls are more expensive (make up, hair products, accessories, expensive jeans, a million shoes etc), and far more emotional and moody. i annoy myself sometimes with how much i cry and how angry/frustrated i get for no reason, i can't imagine having to filter through another girls emotions and moods on a regular basis.

boys just seem...simple. self explanatory. sure i read the book "wild at heart" by john eldridge and i cringe at the thought of my child coming in covered in mud or the fact that having boys tends to mean more sporting events, and more broken bones, possibly some stitches and a black eye or two. nothing some good heath insurance a little bleach can't handle. i realize that boys will be boys and kids need to be kids.

however i had a serious change of heart the other night concerning these very things...

while driving to a baby shower with my bff we were discussing the difference between boys and girls. she (the mother of two boys) casually stated "there is a far greater responsibility when raising boys to become GODLY MEN"

my world was rocked.

i had never thought of it that way. yes, i worry about my kids growing up and loving the Lord and fearing Him as hubs and i do. holy smokes i hadn't thought about the heavy biblical responsibility that men have in this world. as a parent to a boy i would be expected to teach that and raise up a biblical MAN that could lead a family of his own, serve a wife, possibly pastor a church.

the thought terrifies me.

could we do it?

now we may never have kids! :)

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Oh, don't NEVER have kids, please! They are too fun..even when they are covered in dirt or drink half a bottle of Benadryl and you have to rush them to the hospital! (Friday night for us!) It also gives you such a greater understanding of the love the Father has for us when you love your baby even before you lay eyes on it, before one smile is given and before one "I love you, Mommy" is said. It will redefine grace to you in so many ways! You love them simply because they exist and all the fun times is wonderful icing to the cake. Even the hard days are somewhat forgotten (although, hopefully, not the lessons you'll learn during those hard days). I know you work now, but I have a number of friends who thought they would work and then opted to stay home...and you know what? God blessed that decision, too, with providing with their finances. You just never know what God has in store for you. I wrestled with home-schooling or public school...and we opted for public school. But we were very, very prayerful about it and just felt that it was best for our family for now. We remain open. One thing having kids does for you is make you open to different possibilities because you just never know what those little bundles are going to throw at ya!

As a mother of three boys, I find I'm already ahead of the "raising men" game by having such a God-fearing husband and it easily translates to him being an amazing Godly father to our kids. It is the best blessing you can ever have...a Godly husband. So don't fear! Have faith and trust in the Lord. He will provide for the gift of children that only He can give to you!