life.

life has an interesting way of changing all around you without you noticing it.

i often wonder what happened to the season that hanging out with friends, drinking coffee, seeing movies, dreaming up perfect dates, and stressing about the final exam was my whole life.

some of those friends fade as you move into jobs/careers, you marry, you have two families to accomodate (see previous post) and you now cling to your few married couple friends to help you learn how to do marriage (see previous post).

then you learn that there are HUGE "issues" money, jobs, kids, family, health, houses, etc.

i've moved from celebrating birthdays and weddings and baby showers to watching people struggle with infertility, losing children, having miscarraiges, and watching someone my age die of cancer. life takes turns that we sometimes don't see coming.

do i live my life in such a way that in enjoy the here and now? or am i always looking for what's to come? when you're young, you count the days to your next birthday. you want to bigger, you want to be older, you want to be in the next grade, the next shoe size, the next phase of life. when you're in high school you want to graduate and gain some independance. when you're in college you can't wait to graduate and get into a career and earn steady income. and then what? when you move out into an apt you can't wait until you can buy a house. when you buy a house you can't wait to make renovations. when you get married you can't wait to have kids. when you have kids you can't wait until they sleep through the night. you can't wait until they're out of diapers. you can't wait until they're at school all day. you can't wait until the sport season is over. you can't wait until they're done with college. then they move out, move on and then what? you hope they have grandchildren so you can start over?

while i would never want to go back to being single and in debt and living paycheck to paycheck and crappy jobs with moody roommates etc, i also realize that some things were simpler. i think sometimes we miss the simplicity of things. i think we miss the joy in something because we're always waiting for something else.

i attended a women of faith conference this summer in san jose and one of the speakers is a christian comedian. her name is anita renfroe and she has written many books, has a few videos etc and i love every one of them. she was speaking this summer on how as women we are so critical of ourselves. we'll take a photo of ourselves somewhere and get the pictures back (before digital) and we hate every picture of ourselves. you're too fat in this one, too pale in this one, not enough lipstick, not a good smile, bad hair day, etc. you bury the picture (because it's bad) and 5 years later you find it and think "look how great i looked!" i had less wrinkles, less grey hair, i weighed less, etc etc.

TODAY IS THE YOUNGEST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

let's enjoy it!