Life has gotten crazy (as it often does with kids & jobs) and I haven't had time to blog in a long long time. I would love to document my kids lives here for out of town family to see and for me to be able to look back on, but the fact of the matter is... I'm busy doing life with my kids, watching them grow, being involved in the daily grind with them and that is more important to me. I hope my memory will just serve me well enough to remember the little moments I didn't have time to document. If I don't remember a stat or what day they started doing a certain thing or reached a certain milestone I hope it's because I was busy making lasting memories for them by sitting on the floor and playing or dancing, or reading a book or baking a cookie, or making a run to Target (because that's EVERYONE'S favorite place in our family)!
All that aside, there are times in the daily grind that something catches my attention, or comes up in conversation, or I read about on some form of social media during a 2am feeding that really resonates with me and needs to be addressed.
Two weeks ago, someone on Instagram posted this photo
This is Robin Lawley. She's a model. This photo is from Cosmopolitan Magazine (which I don't read). Robin is a "plus size model". This is her sporting her new "plus size" swimwear line. You can see the whole article online here.
The photo was posted by a friend on Instagram with the following caption "This is Cosmopolitan's plus sized model. Thoughts? Because I've got a LOT of them. Our society is messed up. #sad". Of course I instantly had many thoughts but I wanted to ponder them before posting a response to her. Well, that was two weeks ago and I've thought about this photo every day since. Not even the photo but the caption and the comments she received on the photo. Another friend of mine even re-posted the photo on her Instagram and it was responded to with rage.
So what are my thoughts? This is not a plus sized woman in my opinion. But where is the line? What is plus sized and why do we even have the term? Have I ever referred to someone as "large", "plus sized", "heavy" etc. Do I fit this category? How do I raise a daughter in a world that labels a woman like this in this way? Is this photo the types of thing that are going to hurt my daughter and her image of herself or her image of others? Where will she learn to be confident and secure?
My daughter will probably have image/esteem issues. Most women do. Will she learn it from this magazine? Or TV? Or movies? Or Hollywood?
Where will she learn it?
The rage that this photo sparks with me, isn't because of her title. The rage is because there is a mom out there that will one day mutter under breath about how she is fat, or needs to loose weight, or has a muffin top, or cellulite, or needs to work out, or shouldn't eat dessert and her daugther (or son for that matter) will hear her. Someone who probably thinks she's beautiful and perfect. That is what starts the cycle of image issues. That is what creates the labels. Isn't not what others think of us, it's what WE think of ourselves. Pictures like this don't help women either but we need to be able to know this is not the truth & not let it affect our image of ourselves.
There is a fine line (as with most things) because we should strive to be healthy and we should take care of ourselves, but that doesn't mean never having dessert. It doesn't mean going hungry. It doesn't mean being a size 6 or even 10. Genetics play a role in our size regardless of our efforts and some people will look smaller because of other body shape. I don't care about the number on the scale or the size of my clothes. I care that I am healthy enough to play with my kids, enjoy my family & that I have the will power to do something about what I don't like about myself and stop complaining about it. I hope my kids never hear me complain about the things I may not like about myself & I hope I'm wise enough to never compare myself to someone else. The grass is always greener. If you can change it, change it. If you can't, know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God just as you are (Psalm 139:14). I am not cocky or overly confident. I look in the mirror and see flaws but I don't dwell on it. If I wanted to lose weight tomorrow I could. It would take work and discipline but doesn't everything in life?
My goal with my kids (especially my sweet girl) is that they are confident in who they are and who created them. I want them to spend their lives becoming great people on the inside and just take care of their bodies on the outside (hygiene, health etc). I wish more people would focus on that instead of what others might think of them when they look at them. There is a book written by Beth Moore called "So Long Insecurity". I haven't yet read it, but I've heard great things about it. If Insecurity is something you struggle with, I would recommend that book. If you know someone who really struggles with this, maybe suggest the book, or really encourage them to look beyond. I would be willing to bet a few of their issues started when they were young from someone in their house. I would hate for the cycle to be repeated.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised!"